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Kaitlynn

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Thursday (for lack of a better title) [Thursday
February 9th, 2006 at 6:58pm]
[ mood | content ]

today was sort've bittersweet. i got to sleep in till 10 but because i did that i didn't go to my speech class. in which we had the opportunity to get more credit on the test we had...i still dont know what i got on mine. then apparently the teacher asked those who were there when the people who were gone should give their speeches. found out i have to give mine on tuesday. which sucks because i haven't even written the rough draft of it because i'm not entirely sure what i should do. i emailed my instructor to get clarificaton on what i should be doing and i haven't heard back from her, and that way LAST WEEKEND. its pissing me off. so, tomorrow i'm gonna write it to the best of my knowledge and email it to her and hope for the best. she better get back to me or my rough draft is gonna end up being my final draft because i won't think there's anything wrong with it.
then, i went to my photography class and was able to sort out what assignments i had finished, what needed to be finished and what needed to get done. i have about 5 assignments i have to take pictures for and bring in for tuesday. shouldn't be an issue to get this stuff done. i have pictures for one of the assignments already just need to pick through them and choose which will be the best to use. i have half of a set of pictures done for another assignment and i have to re-read the others so i can make sure i'm doing them right. i also need a model for one of the pictures so i can do some portraiture shots.
also, i have to clean the house tomorrow. that shouldn't take long if i just do things in an organized manner. the cleaning will only take part of the morning...an hour or two i think. then work on part of my speech and sort out those pictures then work on the speech some more and maybe take a nap in the early afternoon. just hope i get up early enough.

last night was really nice though. i got to talk to Garrett for a few hours, although i feel bad that he was having trouble sleeping. we had talked for about an hour and a half the first time he called then i think about two hours later (probably a little less) he called me back but i was talking to Jake at the time and when i first looked at the number i didn't recognize it so i didn't answer. then about 15 minutes later he called again and then yeah. obviously answered and hung up with Jake and talked to Garrett for about an hour and a half. That was really nice, just hope that he was able to get some sleep when he tried the second time. he had to get up early today. he also left me a comment on one of my myspace pictures that i saw when i got home today, that was really nice. made me smile.

ohh...wednesday i got to make a print in photography class. it has my buddah (i think thats how its spelled) statue in it. it looks pretty cool. the only problem with it is i used too fast of a shutter speed so the edges of the image are a little fuzzy. its still pretty cool though. i left it in the dryer though, so i dont have it with me, i have to wait until monday to pick it up. should still be there unless they clean out the dryer at the end of the week and put everything in that box. i also developed another roll of film and only one picture got a little screwed up, but for the most part i rolled the film -perfectly-. i have a few things to put together in that class and turn in, should probably figure that out this weekend too.

Yeah [Wednesday
February 8th, 2006 at 11:21am]
[ mood | calm ]

so the past few days haven't been all that great. since Garrett got a roommate he's been kinda talkin to him a little more than he's been talking to me..while we're on the phone. i don't really want to say anything because i know he doesn't mean to do it and just he's a social guy. i'm also thinking it'll be a temporary thing, but it just sucks...because we may be on the phone for two hours or so but we only really talk for about 30-45 minutes, or so it seems. could be wrong about that. for some reason i'd feel bad if i said something, probably because i don't want him to feel bad about it. if it goes on for a few more days i'll say something. right now talking to him is all i've really got, so with this happening its kinda like...yeah. its like, last night he we were on the phone and then he went to hang out with one of his friends for a few minutes because he hadn't seen him all day, which..y'know, fine whatever. just wish the by the time he got back he didn't have to go to bed in 10 minutes. then his roommate wasn't really any help with the matter, Garrett asked him to sorta help him not get side tracked while he was talking to me. so i have to give him credit for trying, i appreciate it. i dont even mind him talking to other people while we're on the phone, just would be nice if the majority of the conversation was between me and him, not him and whoever. but like i've said, i'm thinking its just a temporary thing. i hope it is anyway, or the next few months are really going to suck.
i have to leave for school in about an hour and forty-five minutes, im not really sure i wanna go, even though i dont think i'll be there for too long, maybe 2 hours at most. just have to develop a roll of film...which that process takes 45 minutes, so, that'll be half the time right there. then just gotta make a contact sheet and do whatever class assignment the teacher has going and then i'll be done. go home and take a nap maybe. i still have to work on my rough draft for my speech but my speech teacher hasn't gotten back to me abut the question i asked...i'd like to make sure i get a better grade on this speech...i got a C on my last one but i'm pretty sure that wasn't entirely my fault because this lady really doesn't give clear instructions on how to do things, like the preparation outline. she wants those for each speech. ok fine, no big deal. but how do i make one? were there any instructions or example given? no, there wasn't. not for the first speech. so i got marked down for not doing it correctly. how the hell was i suppose to know how to do one? i've never written a 'professional' speech in my life or any kind've speech for that matter. so thats on my to do list for tonight and i need to finish my photography project...i'm suppose to take 40 pictures - 20 of contrast of texture and 20 of contrast of value. but i'm thinking i'll finish those this weekend and load em up on tuesday and finish the assignment then. i also want to redo one or two assignments, i got decent grades on them, but i'm shooting for As in my photography classes. I know i can do that. so, i've got two things for homework. i still have to go to the post office and send Garrett those tapes...i haven't done that yet =/ so, as of today i have to wing it on a speech assignment, finish a photography assignment, and go to the post office.
i also managed to spill everything i've been drinking today. first it was water on my bedroom floor, no big deal just soaked it up and let the rest dry. then green iced tea in the living room...all over the carpet. so i spent about 20 minutes cleaning that up, which, i think will prove to be a problem later. it might stain..or smell. i dunno. i put a little resolve on it so that should help.

anyways, i need to go eat lunch and get ready to leave. i dont want to, but i will. i'd rather be sleeping right now.

Lately [Tuesday
February 7th, 2006 at 11:22am]
[ mood | lazy ]

lately it hasn't been too bad. although i've been skipping class a little more than i should. but, lets face it i'm not gonna drive an hour (in total) to go to class for a half hour on mondays. its just not worth it. and next monday we're watching a movie i've seen probably...3 times in life now and im not willing to sit through it again.
i've come to the conclusion that i need more sleep. particularly on those days that im not going to school or dont have to be there until 130. so, tonight before i go to bed i'm taking two militonin and sleeping til 11 tomorrow. then i'll go to class. all i have to do tomorrow is develop pictures, which shouldn't take too long since now i know the process. the only part is getting the film onto the reel in pitch black darkness. i hate that. takes forever to get it right and if you dont parts of the film get fucked up and well, you're SOL with those pictures. i did get to take some more pictures this weekend which was fun, i finally figured out the correct shutter speeds and what not for action shots, so no more fumbling with the camera when i wanna catch something, i'll have the correct exposure and what not now. so i'm really proud of that.
i also had a test in my speech class today, which is why i have two hours before my next class...hopefully my laptop can last that long. i think it can, it better. but anyways, i think i did ok on that test. even though i made a study guide for it, i'm not too sure how well it helped me. because it was either i didn't know the material as well as i thought of she worded things in such a weird way it threw me off. i'm pretty sure it wasn't the latter of the two. =/ I really need to try harder in this class, i want to come out with atleast a B in it. I'm gonna try to get atleast a 3.0 as my overall GPA. i'm pretty sure I can do it too. just gotta get atleast B's in everything. there are a few classes i know i can get A's in easily so that'll be a help. just sucks that the C in one class really brings me down...that little bastard.
i'm trying to download Adobe Photoshop CS and Adobe Photoshop 7.0 right now. since I'm on a wireless connection i'm getting about 7 KB/s which is really low for wireless but the signal isn't that strong. so i guess it makes sense. one of the programs i have two percent done with. i'm hope that by the time i gotta turn off my computer it'll be close to done. i have about and hour and a half...and i swear, my laptop better not die on me.

so, occasionally i'll take a look at the calendar and i've realized i only have about a month of this term left. thank god. then i can start classes i really wanna take. so that will be really nice. and i mean REALLY nice. also, (if you don't count this month) i have about 4 months until i get to go see Garrett. i'm so excited about that. after all the changes - we've had to change the timing on this trip 3 times i think, or some where close to there. best part is, my mom can't really get upset about me going because she said she'd rather me wait til Summer and well, ha, i did. but only because i had to and that sucks. also, i'm hoping that i'll still get that job with the state doing data entry. because it pays great and it would only be for a couple hours a day. it would help finance my trip and eventual move greatly.

i sort've dont want to go to photography today. i know i'll have to make up an assignment and i still have to finish two others. but the two i need to finish are on the computer so it wont take long. thats another reason i want to get Adobe Photoshop on my computer because then it would be so easy to do the assignments at home, save them on disc and bring them into school and just print them off. i could be ahead of the game then. but at this rate i wont get Adobe finished loading by the time the class is done with. fuck. i'm gonna go to class today though and get caught up. maybe its not as much work as i think it'll be so i can just go in, do it, and leave before 330. i can do that. i'm diligent, especially when it comes to the computer. i want to be able to get home early enough to exercise, i've been falling behind on that a little bit. although i've been eating less (no, im not starving myself) and i have lost weight...i dont know how much, but one pair of my jeans are entirely too big now. i mean, they were a little big before, but, now i've got about an extra 3 or 4 inches in the waist, i belt really doesn't help with them either, but i dont want to get rid of them just yet. they'll be my fat jeans =p.

i still have to write a speech. the rough draft is due on thursday and i have no idea how to start this one. well, i sort've do, but ehhh...i really dont wanna.

Should I feel like a little bit of a failure here? [Tuesday
January 31st, 2006 at 11:27pm]
[ mood | good ]

for some reason i seem to have this really bad problem with not being able to answer questions that Garrett asks me. like...i can answer simple questions no problem, but when they're important questions..i guess you could call them, i just freeze up. any other time i could easily say 'oh well, this is why...blah blah blah' and be able to answer it no problem at all especially if i'm talking to myself...yes i talk to myself about this stuff, back up off. so, when i can't answer this stuff directly, i feel sort've like a failure. because i should be able to answer that kind've stuff, y'know? its not hard, i have the answers, they just don't wanna come out when i'm actually asked. which sucks. probably be a good idea to write this stuff down when i think it up just so i dont forget it and maybe make it easier to say when the opportunity to comes around.

anyways, i finally figured out what classes i'll be taking next term. hopefully i can manage all of them. i'm sure i can, especially since they're something i wanna take. here's what i got (the italics are electives):

  • WR123 - English Composition - Research Writing

  • HUM106 - British Life and Culture

  • MUS203 - Introduction to Music and Its Literature

  • HST110 - History of World Civilization

  • PE185WB - Weight Management, Intermediate

  • GS104 - Physical Science

  • BI101 - Orientation to Marine Life of the Oregon Coast


I'm thinking it'll be fun. Next term i get to take Intro. to Rock Music. I'm looking forward to that.

Beyond Frustrated [Monday
January 23rd, 2006 at 7:22pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

Ok, so I've been taking my health class online and well, the teacher who is heading up this class...shes annoying the fuck outta me! She's had atleast 4 of my assignments for 2 or 3 weeks now and only 2 of these things have been graded. I don't know about anyone else in the class, but I'd like to know my grade. Seeing as there are only 2 assignments listed, i have like a 9.45% in the class and on those two assignments I've gotten A's on, so its like..GRRR! get the rest of my grades put in there, i'd like to know how i'm doing!
Then, why don't i talk about counselor. I emailed her a week ago now, or atleast its pretty close to a week and she still hasn't gotten back to me. I'd like these questions answered so I can finish figuring out just what i've gotta do for school. At this rate i might as well just take the classes in order because it doesn't seem like i'm gonna get a quick enough answer. I HATE THIS FUCKING SCHOOL! They're so damn unorganized. I mean, today, I had one class...i was there for 40 minutes...all i had to do was watch a movie. Drove an hour to watch a 40 minute movie...really irritating.
once again i also don't have anything to do tonight. well, i could look up stuff for those worksheets, but its not necessary because we're gonna watch videos that go along with them. I could read too, but i dont have the drive to do that and then, i also just blah. i get lazy and i dont know why. I prefer to be home during the day and work then go to school and come back and then have to do work. kinda kills the whole day.

anyways, i wrote Garrett a letter today that i'll send with the recordings of Rocko's Modern Life and Angry Beavers. I was rather proud of writing that letter, hopefully he enjoys it. But now I gotta wait for him to call and thats gonna be the longest wait of my life. Yeah..if anyone hadn't guessed, talking to him is the highlight of my day. really.

but i need to finish making brownies.

Upset with myself [Friday
January 20th, 2006 at 8:22pm]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | ... ]

so, at about 11 last night Garrett got online and gave me the number to reach him at. now, i just added it right into my cellphone. I was pretty sure I had the right number, but did i really? no, of course not. so i tried calling and it said the number wasn't a working number. i was so pissed at myself...i even checked it twice to make sure I had it right! but, i have no other way to get in contact with him as of right now (i left him a message on yahoo...dunno if he'll get that) but i feel awful that i wasn't able to call. said i would and go figure, that kinda shit happens. so, i have to wait and see if he gets online tonight, which i have no idea if he will and apparently he can't call me. i just have this feeling i wont talk to him for a week or something crazy like that. (yeah, this is me over reacting...lovely isnt it?)i just hope he gets on so i can get the number again...this really sucks. i dont wanna end up going a week or something with out talking to him...i can't do that. (i probably can, but it won't be fun).

you're entering a vicinity next to a location [Thursday
January 19th, 2006 at 8:41pm]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | Mercy Me - Alkaline Trio ]

well, its 815 and i'm a little bored. the past two nights i've been lucky to talk to Garrett for a little while so thats been nice, but i dont think i'll hear from him tonight since tonight is the first night he'll actually get to stay in his dorm from now on and at the moment...i think...he doesn't have phone for internet. i probably have that wrong, but anyways, hopefully he'll get that soon and we talk at some point, i miss that boy so much!
anyways, on another note, i dont have any homework. well, i have reading but i dont consider that homework. so i'm kinda at a loss for things to do right now and there really isn't anyone online for me to talk to. Jon may call me sometime after 9...but i dunno. so, until then i need to find something to do...which i'm doin ok on that right now..Family Guy is on, then Futurama, might watch America's Funniest Home Videos later..because thats all thats really on at 9.
i talked to Chris for a few minutes today (hes impossible to get ahold of these days) but apparently his guitarist got into a car accident and the cops wouldn't let him and the rest of the band members in to see him. which, is just strange. so last i heard they were at the hospital and gonna force their way in. hope everything is alright, things seemed to be going so well for him and his band. hope the guy isn't hurt too bad or at all. =/
i also worked out the credits i'm gonna have to take to get this degree in two terms...i have to take 33 credits a term. i'd need to take atleast 16/17 credits from required classes and 16/17 classes from electives. but that could change depending on if any of my required credits add up to more than 16/17. so, if my required classes add up to 20 credits, i wont have to take as many electives to get the 90 credits (in total). so, with any luck, it wont be so bad. but i need to hear back from my counselor...but shes so slow at getting back to me about things! its irritating. she's kinda ditzy too. heh.

anyways, theres a new flash for you..

no reason to rush home [Tuesday
January 17th, 2006 at 12:14pm]
[ mood | cold ]
[ music | listening to the rain hit my car windows. ]

today is really the only day i havent had a reason to rush home. since Garrett is moving into his dorm today he probably won't have a chance to call and that really sucks because we didn't get to talk all the much yesterday...or maybe it just didn't seem like that much. but, i didn't get to really talk to him before i went to sleep which its always nice to do that, but his brother wanted the phone. grr. so, we talked for less than 10 minutes (on the phone) last night and maybe another 30 online. we usually dont talk online, the conversation is never as good as it is on the phone. but then, why would it be better online? anyways, i dunno if its just me or this would happen to anyone, but its gonna be really goddamn hard to adjust to not talking to him whenever. y'know? i mean, now we both have classes and of course they're at different times so, finding a chat time maybe a little hard, but i doubt we were planning to talk during the day anyway. i just hope things work out to where he'll have time to study, make friends and do things with them, and talk to me. even though i'd like to keep him to myself =p
but right now, its rainy, my hoodie is damp from walking from class to my car in the rain. the rain really doesn't help how i feel kinda blah right now. just adds to the already crappy mood. although, i've been talking to Jon and its been interesting to say the least. he's kept me busy. i'm also gonna find out a way to make the phone line reach my room...so i can be online and in bed which would be nice. i hate having to sit out in the freezing living room just be on the computer. i'll figure it out though...i will. just watch.

also, i've noticed that i have this addiction to gummy candies. i dont know why. just lately (past few months) thats been just what i want. its like...cripes, i want gummy candy. i've gone out at 930 at night to get this gummy candy. i'm insane, i shouldnt -have- to go out at 930 at night to get gummy candy. but, i'm quite amused with the assortment of this candy there is...gummy sharks, gummy worms, gummy frogs, and then the starbursts things and then the lifesavers sours and the regular kind. ...i'm insane, seriously.

anyways, i'm half-way done with re-writing my speech. it was easy once i got past the introduction, which for some reason was just giving me hell. but got past it now i just gotta finish it and make my outlines and practice it for thursday. i hope it goes better than i think it will. stupid speech class. that reminds me i need to pick up a class schedule so i can figure what i'm gonna take next term. i'll be busy, extremely.

I don't know [Monday
January 16th, 2006 at 2:59pm]
since i don't particularly feel like explaining things, i'm just gonna talk and if you know what i'm referring to. good for you.

last night i'm not sure why it was such a big deal even after he said he was joking. maybe because initially it really didn't seem like he was joking. then it also could be because i've been in this situation before and well, we all know how that turned out. i don't want to go through that again. at the time we were talking about...well, not we, more like him...i just started to think, wait a minute has this all just been 'something to do' and not really meant anything. i'm pretty sure that if my last relationship hadn't gone how it did this wouldn't have been such an issue for me. i could've gotten over it easier. if that makes sense. i'm pretty much fine with it now, but still paranoid a little. because, it seems like if i'm not able to be down there by the end of this year, i'm kind've out of luck. not that, i've pretty much lost my chance. but, i could be perceiving that wrong.

anyways, i need to re-write my speech.

A feel a problem coming on... [Sunday
January 15th, 2006 at 8:39pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]
[ music | Aiden - Breathless ]

so, lately i've been making arrangements to change my academic goals and all-around direction as far as what school i'm going to attend. i've talked to my counselor and the only real hang up as far as earning my degree by this september is that if the place i'd like to transfer to doesn't run on a particular schedule...because some school run on semesters, other quarters, or even terms, and depending on which one it runs on compared to mine, i could lose credits in my transfer. which i'm not sure why it would matter because i'd have already earned the degree at chemeketa. i'm not trying to transfer any credits, although, it would be helpful if i could apply some of those to a V.C. degree. anyways, i'm not sure which applies to what kind of school year but depending on which it runs on i may have to take classes in order like WR121, WR122, WR123. If not, I can just take them in whatever order I choose. But, if I have to take them in order, there is a chance I may not be done by September. Even then though I'm sure I could work out a way to get it done.

i've been thinking about this change in schools in september...and the only issue would be money. because i have yet to discuss this with my mom. i'm pretty sure she won't fund me (because god forbid i dont do things her way) and seeing as i dont have a job right now and i dont know if i'll even have one sometime in the near future...it's gonna be vitually impossible for me to get a loan. hopefully things will change by then and i'll have a job and way to get this loan. because even with a job it'll be hard to pay for college. this is just stressful to think about. grr.

Sweet gesture [Thursday
January 12th, 2006 at 2:11pm]
[ mood | comfortable ]

well, i didn't really get to talk to Garrett last night. apparently this makes a big difference in how i sleep..because i went to sleep at around 12, woke up at 2, went back to sleep woke up at 4.then i either didn't hear my alarm or it didnt go off, i dunno. but i didnt wake up until 935. now, i have to be at 10 for speech class, so i was late. by about 15 minutes...go me. i was ticked.

one thing i'm even more ticked about is that apparently Chris and his band had written me a 6 page letter, decorated a shirt, included something of monetary value and stuck a CD in there along with it and the post office lost it! now, finding this out, i wanna read that letter and listen to that CD. he sent it out a few months ago and asked me last night if i ever got it and of course i didn't. thats really upsetting. he and i use to be really good buddies, we'd spend hours chatting and i mean hours. then there was that year...about a year give or take a few months where he just dropped off the face of the earth. anyways, it seemed he was dissappointed that i hadn't been sending him notes or cards. i had been for a short time but stopped since i never got any replies back from him and didnt know if he was till at the address...which i still have. but it was nice catching up with him last night. he always so busy its hard to get a hold of him lately. i have to say that he's one of the first good net-friends i ever made. i consider him family.

anyways, i have photography class soon...get to watch a movie...not staying for the whole thing. no way, no how.

Panini... [Wednesday
January 11th, 2006 at 7:34pm]
[ mood | Not too shabby. ]
[ music | Marilyn Manson - Mobscene ]

anyone ever had Panini? oh my god...greatest stuff in the world, especially with chicken, spinach, cheese (i know im not suppose to have it)..but the things only have about 250 calories for two of them. well, two of them consist of a rather large slice of bread cut in half and toasted. i could live off these...the only thing i dont like is that they have red peppers on them, so, i pulled those off. anyways, that was my food-rant for today.

anywho. i finally had a meeting with my counselor today for school. I found that i need to get 90 credit hours to get this degree. which is a bitch, but im sure if i play my cards right i can definately get it by end of summer term. i have 24 right now and this includes the ones im earning right now. so, i have to get 66 more. im not sure how i can figure this how so it doesn't burn me out. but i'm gonna take some classes online, the ones that wont really matter too much. this would be so much easier if i didn't have to take 28 credits worth of electives, just ELECTIVES! although, i dont think i need quite that many seeing as one of the classes i'll be taking is more than the required hours. i have to check on this though. i also have a speech due this next Thursday. It has to be a persuasive speech and i've chosen to do it on Job Out-sourcing (to the extent of sending jobs like Customer Service to countries like India, etc). I'm arguing against it. I still need to some research and i think my weekend is gonna be pretty booked during the day at least. Because this Friday, I'm going to the Silver Dollar Show with Meghan to take pictures of Lauren jumping a pony named Dazzle, who Ele (Meghans trainer) wants to sell. I'm getting paid to take these pictures, so its like i'm a semi-professional photographer. its great. I have to leave a 8AM on Friday, which sorta sucks, because I probably won't be home til 5. ugh. Then either Saturday or Sunday i'm gonna have lunch with my friend Sarah (s) since I haven't seen her in a LONG time. I haven't seen her since graduation, which is sad. She has to go back to school on Saturday I think. Along with everyone else. I also went and had lunch with my other friend Sarah. I ran into her before my appointment with my counselor because she needed to get her english credits transfered to Boise so she wouldnt have to take english this term...or whatever she's runnin on. So, we went to subway and had a bite to eat. I also was able to get home at 300 today and sleep til 430. I was so tired when I woke up. Usually I can sleep in on Mondays and Wednesdays but not today...had that meeting at 1030. So, i forced myself out of bed. oh, i also met up with Meghan, we ran over to Blanchet to pick up my yearbook. its ok. people are mis-labled, pictures are missing (they didn't get my baby picture in there!) but it looks pretty cool.

i also need to finish my health assignment for this week. its only one thing i need to write. it will take about 5 minutes. but, i'm still putting it off. of course. but i'll get it done before the due date. probably do it tomorrow between my speech and photography class. i have an hour, maybe a little more than that. dunno. also, my dad finally put together the elliptical, i'm workin on it tomorrow morning for a half hour. then maybe another half hour when i get home, im not too sure since i dunno when meghan will be over here..yeah, shes staying the night.

i haven't talked to Garrett since last night. I thought about calling him when I woke up, but didn't know if I should. I'm thinking he would've called if he wasn't busy. I know he's getting ready for college (he's leaves on friday=/ ). he's pretty much convinced me i have nothing to worry about, and i believe that. but i think just because i care about and love him so much i'm really afraid to lose him. i dont keep thinking i will or anything, and even if i do think it i can usually talk myself out of it. so, i'm assuming thats a good thing...and its not so much talking myself out of thinking it but getting myself not to worry about it. because i've got no reason to. it's gonna be weird when we can't talk like we normally do. because he wont be able to just call whenever because i'm pretty sure his phone plan won't be the same at school. I could call him of course, i'd just have to figure out how to budget my minutes...i only get about 1400 a month...i think. something like that and i have to leave atleast 200 minutes for my mom to use each month (but this month i'm pretty sure we'll have roll over minutes because our billing cycle ends on the 19th of this month and I still have 500-something minutes). just hope everything works out like planned and i'll be down there with him in september, maybe a little later but, its a good though, nice goal to shoot for.

i've also been talking to my ex's friend Jon a lot lately. Nice to gain a new friend. He's interesting...he recently dyed him hair, beard, and even eyebrows blue. he reminds me of a biker. i'm not reallu sure why, i think its how he does his hair and then of course because of the beard.

earlier this week i applied to work at the state revenue building doing data entry for a months. it's a pretty good paying job..i think it was 9.35/hr. monday through friday and sometimes saturday. its only about 4 or 5 hours in the evening so it won't be too bad. i just hope i do well in the screening process so i get called in from day one. just have to know how to 10-key, which isn't hard or anything..its just being able to use that little number keypad on the side. i know how to use it, its just using it fast and accurately i'm not sure about.

but yeah, that was my day and yeah.

I have no title. [Saturday
January 7th, 2006 at 5:48pm]
[ mood | okay ]

as you can see i finally changed my background among other things. i like it...not the best work i could do but i just wanted to get something new on here, i was tired of the yellow. anyways, today was boring...i went to Dalles to pick up stuff for my photography class. I got most of what i needed...still need to get that epson paper. after i did that i ended up going to the movies with my godmother and my mom. i really didn't feel like going but i had to seeing as my mom wouldn't have had time to drop me off at home and then go back to salem. so, i just watched the movie - Fun With Dick and Jane - it was alright. was just really bored most of the time, im not sure why...i was talking to Jon on AIM (on my phone) for most of the time. also talked to him last night for about two hours...that was entertaining and it gave me something to do.
i still haven't talked to Garrett today, which feels strange. all i really know is he didn't get home til after 330 in the morning so, i wouldnt be suprised if he was asleep right now. i've been contemplating calling but i dont want to end up waking him up if he is sleeping. i got an email from him though, it was interesting...and confused me. it was something from one of those match-making like sites, and that just kinda confuses me. i'm sure its not hing to worry about, because i know that he likes making friends and meeting new people and all that, which is also what that site is for so, but i'm still just a little wary of it.
tomorrow i need to finish my health assignments for class. they're due by 11:55 pm...i just need to do that journal entry and i'm done for the time being. i really should go look and make sure she didnt open anymore of the assignments to be able to do them. i'd like to atleast stay caught up or maybe stay ahead of the game...ahead as i can be anyway. i'm expecting to get all A's this term as well as the following terms. i know i've said that before.
anyways, i gotta call that kennel again where i applied for the receptionist job...call em on monday. i still need to keep looking for other jobs, but there are only so many things i can apply for as well as there are only so many things i'm willing to do. i just...i need a fuckin job.

lately my mom has been pissin' me off so much. i mean...she'll ask me to do something, yeah i'll do it. maybe not right away, but i'll do it that day. if its not done at the drop of a hat she starts getting all upset about -everything- and goes on and on about how she's always at work and the least me and my dad could do was clean up a little so she wouldn't have to do it when she got home. now, ok, fine, i can do that, i'll clean up my shit as long as she doesn't get all pissy about it. which it seems no matter what she has to be able to get upset about it. then when she gets upset at me, i get upset at her and then its all downhill from there. then today she just about drove me insane because she was trying to understand the difference between Kodak Glossy printer paper and Ilford Glossy printer paper...glossy is glossy the brand name is just different. Christ. sorry.

So.. [Friday
January 6th, 2006 at 10:44pm]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | Shawn Mullins - Lullabye ]

Ok, so i had classes all this week. they were all alright, i'll be going to all them i think...i wont skip any this time around. so, i've already finished two assignments for my digital photography class, go me. then i'm nearly done with the two assignments i'm suppose to have done by Sunday for my health class, i just gotta do my journal entry which shouldn't be too hard. i hope. the only things i have left to do is a bunch of reading...three chapters for my digital photography class and three chapters for my regular photography class. i really should be atleast starting on that stuff now...i've had pretty much all day to do that aside from the house cleaning that i had to do, but i've been procrastinating on it...once i actually start reading it though i should be ok getting through it...its something i dont mind reading about its just getting myself to sit down and read it thats the issue.
So, instead of doing all that i'm watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (the older episodes...which are so much better). Although the show isn't exactly what i remember, they're still good, fun to watch as always. Of course, if everything was just 'the usual' tonight i wouldnt be watching TMNT right now or doing homework, but Garrett isn't home and wont be home early enough to call. Hope he has a good time tonight. It's just weird not talking to him, getting too use to it i guess. lol. i'm also sitting on Palace...which I haven't been on in months - still can't find anyone worth talking to, its rather depressing.
anyways, tomorrow i have to go to Dalles to get supplies for my photography classes. i have to get paper and what not...some for printing and other for developing. then i need the 'hardware' for it and film. film is gonna cost be a damn fortune. i need like...6 rolls i think, or some kind've amount like that i'd need to look at the paper again. i also may go to a movie tomorrow with my mom and godmother...i can't remember what movie...oh no, i do..its fun with dick and jane. i'm not too sure i really wanna go...just sit in a theater for two hours and eat junk food that i dont need to eat...because well, yeah, i need to lose weight =P
i'm still waiting to find out if i got that job as a receptionist, i really hope i get it. i need a damn job...i need to keep looking at other jobs. apply for those...if i can find anything part time. i know i've said a lot of this before, but the job market sucks here, no one wants to hire anyone with out experience and anyone who is willing to train is looking to hire FULL time, not PART time. which i can only work part time and go to school full time. especially this summer when i take on more than four classes at once. i'm also really sure i can get straight A's this term. because lets face it, none of these classes are hard and its all stuff i can do easily. i'm thinkin if i get straight A's i can get some cash out of my mom for my savings among other things.

i've also come to the conclusion (i came to this conclusion about 5 minutes ago) that i'm really fucking bored. there isn't anyone online right now and i'm making small talk with a 34 year old punk who just moved to salem from washington. now, why he'd do this, i dont know. but apparently he rides a Vespa...one of those scooter things. he's alright...kind've bothers me that he's 34 because...well, thats just a little too old for me to really be talking to but, whatever, i'll give it a shot.

Since I've got nothing else to do right now... [Tuesday
January 3rd, 2006 at 11:46pm]
[ mood | tired ]

i really don't have anything to do right now. i'm waiting for a call, but yeah, its getting late so i dunno if i'll get it. anyways, i had classes today, i think that i'll actually enjoy this term...the classes seem nice and there are some familiar faces. i already have an assignment for speech class, but i did it. had to read chapter one in my book. but anyways, right now im watching 'Dirty Jobs'...they're gutting an octopus...rather...interesting. i'm really thinking about going to lay down soon. i dont have to be at school til 130 tomorrow so i'll probably be sleeping in late. then just have class on thursday and friday off, so you can guess i'll be spending my friday morning sleeping...but at 2 i have to go meet my counselor...however thats spelled...to talk about what classes i need to take so hopefully that goes well.yeah...thats all i gotta say.

So, vacation ends tomorrow. [Monday
January 2nd, 2006 at 12:29pm]
[ mood | ehh... ]

So, tomorrow is my first day of classes (again). now, this go around everything should be good. i'll be in class atleast 4 days a week and i have fridays off. i'm searching for a job, which i think i found a good one, one that i dont absolutely need experience for and its something i'll enjoy. if i'm lucky, i'll get it.

new years was pretty good. i went to justine's and spent time with her and meghan. we watched more than enough movies (office space, the 40-year-old virgin, umm...robin hood, men in tights) and yeah, thats all I watched. I couldn't bring myself to watch Undiscovered with Ashley Simpson...because, even though they say it wasn't about her career...i dont care. i've seen enough movies starring singers where it just shows how they made it to where they are today (not accurately of course, but its still irritating just the same). Justine and I also got pizza and breadsticks for dinner (which we got too much of because we forgot that meghan wouldn't be there during dinner - she had other obligations). but we got 2 pizzas and 2 orders of breadsticks from Little Caesers (i dont know if i spelled that right) for like...$14 bucks. then we got a bunch of soda, so basically we just pigged out that night and probably gained what felt like 20 pounds. although, it won't be hard to lose that - since i'm getting an ellipitcal..woo-hoo! lol i'm a dork. and yes, like everyone else, my new year's resolution is to lose some weight. if i lose about 20 pounds, i'll look fantastic...i don't look too bad now, but i'm not happy with it.

last night while laying in bed i realized something. the plan is, is that i'm suppose to go visit Garrett over my spring vacation (which is march 13th to the 31st (I think, i could have the wrong, i dont have the paper infront of me)). anyway, what i realized was that, since i start classes nearly two weeks earlier than he does, chances are our vacations aren't going to be at the same time. now, this fuckin' sucks. plans have changed twice for this already, it'll really suck to have to postpone them again. the only plus about it would be is i'd be able to get some more cash before going and also be able to lose more weight (yeah, i wanna look good...heh). but, grrr..i dont wanna have to wait any longer. i'm getting impatient. but if i gotta wait, it'll be worth it, im sure. luck willing, something will work out before summer. that would be lovely.

now, on a happier note, after a year or so, i finally got to talk to my friend Chris again. that was a lot of fun. apparently he joined the army for awhile, he was in Iraq and from what I gathered, he went to New Orleans to help out down there. now, i've heard from a few people that those being helped down there aren't greatful...at all. figures. anyways, he's got his band going again and apparently was going to the studio today to do something, im not sure what the conversation didn't get that far because he had to leave. he's also going to college which is cool. he's changed quite a bit since i last talk to him, but he's still just as awesome. he's now my 'neighbor'. he lives in California, now he's not cross-country. haha. nifty-neato. oh, and apparently he did get all the notes and cards i sent. i consider this guy as good as family. =)

happy birthday to me [Saturday
December 17th, 2005 at 7:50pm]
[ mood | tired ]

so, yesterday was my birthday. it was pretty nice. i got a 20GB iPod from my parents, which is cool...5,000 songs or 20,000 pics (i believe thats how it goes). then i got a bunch of really awesome CDs from Garrett and a nice necklace and bracelet that he made, i love em. then, sarah gave me this really awesome book on Punk, read about Sid Vicious, depressed myself about that for the millionth time. got to have Olive Garden for dinner - oh god the breadsticks! then lastly, i got a crystal bowl to go with the set i've been accumilating for the past couple years and some lip-gloss stuff from my godmother.

anyways, i went to meghans horse show today - she did good. it was fuckin freezing out there. it was about 25 all day and i was out in that for 8 hours. now, i suppose the main problem was i wasnt wearing the right shoes (i was wearing converse) and then 3 pairs of socks and my feet were completely frozen. there was no possible way, other than turning on the car and heater, which i didnt get to do until we left Springfield. even after an hour in the car with the heat on at my feet, they were still numb when i got home. then even when i got under 3-layers of blankets i still couldnt get warm, im still shivering and its not funny. god forbid you laugh about it. now, to finish off this little rant, my skin hurts from being so cold for so long.

oh, by the way, if you're going to buy gloves don't buy them from K-mart. They fall apart the next day.

Short and Sweet [Sunday
December 11th, 2005 at 10:51pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

At this point in my life I can honestly say I've never been happier or more ready to face tomorrow.

Home stretch [Sunday
December 4th, 2005 at 3:05pm]
[ mood | busy ]

tomorrow is the first day of finals. my first and only final for tomorrow is from 2pm to 4 pm. hopefully i'll do decently on my final for that class. i also need to study for my math final...because math and me don't mix so im sure you can guess what that means.heh. maybe i'll do alright though.

anyways, on friday i think it was, i got together everything that my ex gave me (except CDs, no use in getting rid of perfectly good music) and put it in a box and sent it off to him. so finally, i have nothing to remind me of how ticked off at him and what he did. so, now i'm finally feeling great about everything, i no longer have to look at that crap just sitting on the shelf and upsetting me. i believe its because of him that i have these new found feelings of paranoia (see previous entries) about relationships and losing what i've got. i just hope everything works out how i hope it will.

i also need to finish my cards, one in particular seeing as i need to send it at the end of next week, atleast, assuming i get my order by next week. which, im thinking i should, if not i have to wait til the following monday to send it, either way it should get there before or by christmas. i need to get peices together for that card anyway, it'll take awhile to cut everything and get it situated ( i never remember spending so much time on a card for someone).

well, that was short, but i gotta go work on stuff and make a call soon.

drama...but rest of its all good. [Monday
November 28th, 2005 at 7:14pm]
[ mood | irritated/happy/bored/blah ]
[ music | "I Think I Love You" by Less Than Jake ]

ok, just when i thought everyone was free and clear of highschool drama...it grows to college drama. i hate it. not because i end up getting involved but because my conversations between friends can't happen privately without someone (mom particularly) coming in and asking "what was wrong?" or "what's going on?" Then when i dont want to share, its a big deal. if i wanted to share my business with her, i would. but since i dont open up and talk about certain things, she just needs to take a clue and butt-the-fuck-out. then she gets upset about me not telling her and my dad gets upset because apparently saying i dont want to share anything is a smartass thing to say and starts cursing about it. which it isn't in my opinion. i dont wanna fuckin share, they should realize this by now, i havent shared anything since i was about 12. think they would've figured it out by now. these people just really irk me.
anyways, now tomorrow i gotta register FIRST THING for my winter classes. i plan on taking speech, general photography, a weight management class, and then intro. to digital photography. not that i really need and introduction to it, but i think it'll be beneficial, it also means i get a new digital camera. so, when i first get up tomorrow i must register because last term i wasnt able to get into the photography class...i was sad. anyways, classes are almost over, which means the dreaded art 131. hooray!! only one of my classes is online, but with how my schedule works out this term i dont have a friday class and none of my classes start before 10 and i also have fridays off, so hopefully this'll get me a better chance at getting a job since i have more open time when it comes down it. i hate getting up early. i just hope i can get into all these classes. i mean, i'll wake up at 5 tomorrow morning and register if i have to. i'll even check at 12 tonight to see if registration is open. yeah...im that desprate to get those classes. i'm also contemplating just going for my associate's at chemeketa instead of doing the VC program...i dont like how they run things at chemeketa. i might as well do it though, incase other plans don't work out.
lastly, i gotta get a move on with my christmas stuff. i need to start makin my cards and what not. i only have like..2 1/2 weeks to get everything done and sent out BY christmas. hopefully i can do it, pretty sure i can for that matter. one particular thing will take more than enough effort...i have an idea of what i want to write in it but im still not entirely sure. so, wish me luck on straightening out my thoughts...and my words, i cant articulate myself very well sometime...a lot of the time.

garrett also starts school in january. as i mentioned in another entry that it kind've worries me a bit, but i'm happy he gets to go, i know how much he's been wanting to. hopefully it all works out for him. i hope it does. i also got so close to seeing him over my winter break...so close it was like...damn. but of course that didn't work out. so now still gotta wait til march, which isn't too far off. only about 3 months (starting count in december of course). when i start to think about it i just get so excited. i just really hope its going to be as fun as we hope, im sure it will be.

i also need to get a new background for this thing...need new colors too. so, new pictures, new colors. i need to think. i also need to print of my goals list...yes, i've made a list of goals. no, not for new years...im not that nuts. but, i need some things to work towards. i think i've knocked a few things off that list anyway which is great. so anyways, i guess thats all?

oh no, im wrong. it snowed a bit today...nothing stuck around, but that makes a white christmas seem possible. we're suppose to get snow thursday...and thats like a 50% chance assuming i heard that correctly. now thats its.




stop reading.


please.

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